The end

 I haven't posted here for a long time.  It might be because the fight got so real, so raw.  

My son, Nolan, my beautiful child, died on October 3rd.

We don't know the cause of death yet.  His brother found him and he was already gone.  Nolan struggled with Mental illness, addiction, and Type 1 Diabetes.  We understand that it was likely the T1D that took his life.

He had been in the icu several times that year.  He had been sober and to treatment and relapsed.  It was not the drugs that killed him.  We know that. 

I am still waiting for the report from the coroner.  

I miss my son.  Patrick and Lemon miss their brother.  I wanted him to live and I can't stop thinking how cruel it is to have a child for 24 years and beg the medical world for help only to watch them struggle and fail and die.  It seems headless and wrong. 

So this will be my last entry.  This chapter in my life has abruptly ended and took so much of me with it.

Please pray for my grieving process to be fluid and healthy.

Nolan would want it that way.

Thank you to those that had hope for him.