Sunday, November 04, 2007

School daze

Sometimes I get so mad that my head spins... I get to the point that I cannot even think straight. I want to break out of my own mind and scream... some type of release.... you know....
But I am grown. And I can't do that anymore.
I have to act my age and try to fit in with society. I can't get a mohawk to express my dissatisfaction with society anymore. I am like a hippie that stopped hipping and went to work for the man. That is me.
So I take my kids to school, and I hope that all goes well. I encourage them to have thier own opinions, and not to care what others think. It seems to me that my oldest has a good grasp on this. He really could not possibly care less, he is like me... or like I was...
But my youngest... He cares.
Now dont get me wrong here, I would never do what I did if I thought that school were anexceptionally educational, enlightening and provocative place for them, , then I would not let them miss a moment. But, since I do see school as a sort of hum drum experience, (not at the fault of the teachers, or the adminstration, it is at the fault of American priorities) I do not rely on school as a place for my kids to gather information, or a place for my childrens minds to flourish... I rely on my giving them unique experiences, and allowing them to think for themselves.
They are smart. And to me... the grades do not matter much at all.
So what I did was I took them to the vet with me and a new dog we had. One reason was that I was not sure tht the dog would be coming home. He seemed sick, and I thought that they would be telling us to have him put to sleep. I wanted them to understand why if it needed to happen.
So, I called school, told them my plan, and the office lady cheerfully said, "OK GREAT!" and hung up.
But when I dropped the kids off for school an hour late, they got "a talkin' to" by the office ladies, telling them that "That is NOT a good reason for calling in late!"
They could have told me that when I called, but I am grown... and for whatever reason, it is easier and comes more naturally for them to come down on little kids for something that they don't make decisions on in the first place.
So my kids told me about it the next day. I was mad. I called school immdeiately and the phone was answered by Janice, the lady who does lunch tickets.
"Apparently someone has been telling the boys why they can and can't be late...." I started, and Janice, who is the one that the boys told me got on them first, said, "I'll let you talk to Jean, she's the one that deals with this."
Jean was on the phone in a few moments. She thought I should talk to the principal about it. I told her that if they had a problem, or needed to get something off of their chest, they all have my phone numbers and can talk to me. Patrick gets stomach aches over being in "trouble" and it is MY fault not his...
My kids asked about if I talked to them about the whole ordeal or not and I told them, that I would be talking to principal Kollars soon...
That is when Nolan said it.
-- mind you... I do not allow my kids to be disrespectful to thier teachers, or principals... they KNOW they will catch hell for being disrespectful, and they also know that I do NOT stand behind them for thier wrongdoings... I am not "one of those" parents.-----

"Jean always says, 'Hurry up Nolan, I have other things to do!'" Nolan mocked a snotty, annoyed tone.

"Uh... what?" I shook my head to make room for this information, scooby doo style...
Nolan repeated himself
"Why does she tell you to hurry up?" I asked...
"when I'm bolusing."
uh huh. telling him to hurry up and take his insulin... hm... I dont like the sounds of this, but... lets give her one more way out before we assume fault here.
"Are you... taking a long time, or is it taking a while to add up the carbs... or are you farting around in the office, or... what is happening when she says this?" I ask, trying to use the most laid back tone ever...
"No," he is exaperated, "I dont know why! She says it right when I walk in the office!!!"
oh no she doesnt.
I felt my neck start to go, my head go off to the right... and all I could think is, "them is fighting words!!!"

Oh no. no she did not. Oh no. that is NOT going to happen. NOBODY is going to tell MY baby to hurry up and take his insulin ESPECIALLY someone who accidentally told him to bolus for what his blood sugar level was one time... 103.. after he'd eaten less than 30 carbs for lunch, then called me, saying that they did not have anything for him to eat to even that out...
Oh no she did not.
It was like Nolan could read my ready-to-fight-someone mind....
"she says that every time mom!"
I could feel my blood start to boil.

I have had one entire weekend to let this get better, or fester... and I must say that it has done a bit of both. I feel more put together about it, but I feel more angry too. The level of frusteration I have is not natural. I only wish something could be done, but to force adults to be nice to a kid that they dont want to deal with is just not easy to do.
I could hover over them daily and make sure they dont say anything mean to my kid.
His life is hard enough with Diabetes to deal with...
Let alone adults acting like complete jerks.

who could be mean to this kid.

You will have to turn your volume way up... it was windy.


Anonymous said...

This is Jessica from Myspace. I just wanted to see what your boys were like, so I thought I would come and watch this video. Seriously...I am not trying to be sappy either...your boy is wonderful. Just the few seconds that I saw of him, talking about how beautiful a rainbow is. Amazing... I always worry about bringing kids into this world and having them be so influenced by outside sources that I would have no say in how they are raised. You can clearly see that would not be the case...even now. Thank you for that.

Jen said...

Aw shucks. Blush. I will warn you not to take a trip to the grocery store with us then. LOL.

Linda Weltner said...

One of the big problems with diabetes is that it is almost invisible to others who see a kid with no visible defects. My grandson was diagnosed at 7 and a month later people asked, "How are you?" and you could see that the answer they expected was "Fine."
Laura Plunkett, (my daughter) and I were keeping a journal at the time. She'd talk when she was going crazy and in order not to interrupt or offer advice, I was typing her words into my computer. We began sharing the entries with friends and neighbors, who actually had no idea what Laura and her family were going through. We were equally ignorant when Danny was diagnosed.
We finally published the journal as a book, starting with day one. It documented the daily crises, the emotional rollercoaster our family was on, and how hard and scary having a child with diabetes can be.
We have a web page
You might want to take a look and see if you identify with anything written there. I bet if you brought a copy to Jean and butter-wouldn't-melt-in-your-mouth said that you thought this would help her understand how difficult it is for your son, you might win her sympathy (even though it sounds as if her heart is hard as a rock, we don't know what grief her life holds) - Don't I sound just like a grandmother?? I wish I had the magic power to make things right for you and Laura.

Anonymous said...

I don't know what made me check out your blog this morning! :) Your son and the rainbow video is cool. He is so articulate and cute - brought me to tears for some reason. Thanks for sharing. Maybe he'll be a meteorologist some day! OSUMom